Things aren't quite going my way.
I'm kind of having a hard time.
You should help me fix things.
Want to know how?
Click that donate button up there.
Also, I have some news -
"You Only Tell Me I'm Beautiful When I'm Naked"
Will be available for download on Monday.
That's a whole week earlier than I had promised.
See how nice I am?
Oh, and this is an excerpt:
You should be excited about this.
And you should totally donate some pennies.