Because I Hate The Thought of Leaving

I am supposed to be reading a book

Or doing something equally as productive

Instead I am thinking about going home

And I am wondering if we will ever meet again

I am hoping that today is not our last

I am hoping that tomorrow is not the start of the new beginning that I need

I am hoping that you will choose to be a part of that new beginning that I need

I know that I should not want more than I have

I know that I should not think this is more than what it is

I know that there is nothing more and nothing less

And yet a small part of me wishes for it to be

I cannot help but think that you will forget

That you do not feel as I do

But I will not apologise for these fleeting thoughts

I know that it does not matter whether this is more or less

I know that it does not matter if we are or we will never be

I know that it does not matter if you choose to forget

I know that it does not matter if this is the last time

I will always know you as the only one

Who could see straight into my soul

And stare unflinchingly at the ugliness inside